You're not happy at work? You're not happy in your relationship? Your finances are in a bad way? Then perhaps you need to get off of the pity potty and take responsibility for your life?
We live in a blame culture, where people immediately look to blame others for their woes, but your life cannot change as long as you’re blaming outside forces such as your boss, your parents, friends, family, upbringing, education, or any other reason for your current situation.
“But! But! But!” I hear you say. There are no “buts!”
Whatever the situation you’re in, you are, in some way, big or small, responsible for where you are, right now. Things happen for a reason. You’ve heard that, right? Yes, things happen for a reason and that reason is you. Every decision that you ever made, brought you to this point.
If your current situation is particularly bad, you might think that I’m being harsh to say that you're responsible. Let’s be clear, this is not "victim blaming." I’m not saying that you are responsible for a particular incident or incidents that may have happened, such as taking a beating from an abusive partner. And I am not saying that your decisions are responsible for how someone treats you.
What I am saying is that you made the decision to be with that person. You made the decision to make excuses for that person. You made the decision to forgive that person and you made the decision to stay with that person.
You have to accept the facts and take responsibility for your part in your own life story. Only then can you start to take control of the situation and take back control of your life.
Now, before I get a flood of complaints, telling me that I don’t understand how complex domestic abuse situations are, (this was just an example) I know plenty about it. I spent a number of years with an abusive partner. I understand the mental, financial, sexual, physical abuse and the manipulation and intimidation tactics that can make it so hard to leave.
As a man, I also understand the stigma, the guilt and the fear of not being believed by the Police and authorities.
I have stood on a chair with a rope around my neck, contemplating ending it all because I didn’t see a way out.
Luckily for me, the thought of my children stopped me from tipping that chair over. But, it was only when I accepted my part in my own story, that I was able to start taking back control of my life and making the decisions that I had to make to save myself.
“A SIGN OF WISDOM AND MATURITY IS WHEN YOU COME TO TERMS WITH THE REALISATION THAT YOUR DECISIONS CAUSE YOUR REWARDS AND CONSEQUENCES. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR LIFE, AND YOUR ULTIMATE SUCCESS DEPENDS ON THE CHOICES YOU MAKE.” - DENIS WAITLEY
You’re responsible for your decisions – Accept that.
You’re overweight, you eat badly – Your responsibility!
You’re in debt but you keep buying things that you don’t need – Your responsibility!
You’re in a bad relationship, yet again, because it’s exciting, he/she is good looking, is great in bed, supports you financially but treats you like dirt – Your responsibility!
Stop playing the victim. Accept the fact that your decisions brought you to this point and grasp the responsibility with both hands.
Remember, that no matter how bad things are, your decisions brought you to this situation, which means that your decisions can also get you out of this situation.
“THE MOMENT THAT YOU TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE, IS THE MOMENT THAT YOU CAN CHANGE ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE.”
An extract from, "The 12 Steps, a LIFEREADY Motivational Guide", available on Amazon.com.